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Movie Title: Mystery Science Theater 3000 – Mitchell
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I’m a grand fan of these guys. The team of writers for this prove are so talented it’s sick. I was a sizable fan when MST3K was on TV, and I have a bunch of the episodes on tape. Of all of them, this is the one I return to most.

The improbable movie for Joel’s farewell episode is Mitchell, some kind of lame cop-action-thing with a unimaginative location revolving around drugs and prostitutes and Joe Don Baker’s terrifying acting. Perfect ammunition for Joel & co. to unleash one of the finest barrages of jokes in the entire series! You can speak the writers had fun with this movie. So noteworthy of it lends itself to insult: Joe Don Baker acting like he suffers from acute retardation; Mitchell’s drinking problem; Mitchell’s face; Mitchell’s disturbing sexual relationship with his prostitute; Mitchell’s sizable belly; Mitchell’s driving skills; Mitchell’s drinking problem; Mitchell shooting guns; Mitchell fighting; Mitchell’s theme song; Mitchell trying to be tough…it goes on. This one will have you laughing yourself into a seizure every few seconds. The jokes arrive so like a flash that it’s impossible to acquire it all in. I’ve seen this episode about a dozen times over the years but I aloof hear things I missed before.

Buy it and smile.

“Mitchell” was Joel Hodgson’s farewell to the SOL, the ‘Bots, Frank and Forrester, and *sniff* his legion of fans. But what a arrangement to demolish his urge, huh? This is the full-tilt, 360-degree, last-second, game-winning slam-dunk of an episode, a guaranteed laugh riot that I can unruffled eye again and again.

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What hasn’t been said about this movie? Well, for one thing, I don’t know if any one has commented on how truly embarrassed Martin Balsam looks throughout. Every moment of his performance has the feel of a tacit apology as he tries to build silk purses out of the stockyards of sows’ ears that he was handed by the screenwriters. He did it for the money, and lets the audience know it in scene after scene. He was a gifted actor, too often wasted in dreck like this. Yet he comes off infinitely better than the star of the expose, one Joe Don Baker. Understand that if you limit Baker’s shroud time in most movies, as has been done by smarter filmmakers than these, he’s not nearly as horrible as he is here. But director Andrew McLaglen insists on having him in virtually every scene, with lots of close-ups of Baker’s full face to accentuate…exactly what again? This is pure white-sploitation, a ‘Shaft’ meets ‘Dirty Harry’ without either of those films’ energies or convictions. Consider about it. Who is Mitchell? He’s a tough supercop who can’t stand the confining rules of ‘the system’, and by the draw, he’s also an irresistible stud. One of those guys again? Like the character, the movie is a wasteful thud, too dreary to be racy, too cheap-looking to be flashy.

That’s what our boys exploit–the intrinsic weaknesses of the lame chronicle and the truly poor protagonist that isn’t even likable as an anti-hero.

Meanwhile, the out-of-theater memoir kicks into gear immediately as Gypsy (voiced by Jim Mallon) overhears Frank and Forrester (Frank Conniff and Brand Beaulieu) discussing the elimination of a ‘be-jumpsuited fool’, whom Gypsy assumes to be the beloved Joel Robinson (Joel Hodgson), friend and human creator. This scene is cleverly played as a parody of a scene in “2001″ as the scene cuts from Gypsy watching ‘the Mads’ to close-ups of the duo having a their discussion, which the audience can instruct is actually about a temp Frank hired, Mike Nelson (played by Mike Nelson) . Gypsy leaps into action to figure out how to earn Joel off the ship (“Charter flight? No.”), while Crow (Beaulieu) and Tom Servo (Kevin Murphy) are oblivious as usual to Gypsy’s problems. Finally a solution is reached, thanks to Mike–and the slow-witted Frank (Mike needs the keys to a control panel to find control of the ship’s computers, so he simply asks for them: “Frank, can I borrow your keys? ” “Okay.” And when Frank wonders why Mike wanted the keys, Mike says it’s because he left his lights on. And when Frank counters that he doesn’t fill a car, Mike asks him why he lent him the keys in the first residence. Which leaves Frank confused and apologetic.) . Joel escapes in the aptly-named “Deux Ex Machina” hidden in a box of the Spam-like Hamdingers, lands in the Australian Outback and never returns. (Except for a profitable appearance in Episode 1001, not available on video.) Thankfully for their experiment and for the present, ‘the Mads’ settle to bring the temp on to their staff full-time, whether he likes it or not. Welcome aboard, Mike.

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The day I brought this tape home for my younger siblings to perceive, my dad told me something I couldn’t possibly bear. I had to ask him to narrate more slowly and clearly, and into my respectable ear, in order to accumulate it. The archaic man paid money to ogle this movie. In a theater. Unpleasant guy.
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